Intimate kindness unites people

Loving v. Virginia

Loving Day commemorates the day in history when the U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled on Loving v. Virginia to strike down all anti-miscegenation laws in 1967 (laws that made mixed-race marriages illegal). Chief Justice Earl Warren’s written decision described Virginia’s ban as one “designed to maintain white supremacy.”

Backstory: The Lovings

Richard and Mildred Loving were married in June 1958 in Washington, DC. They were arrested after returning to Virginia for violating the Racial Integrity Act of 1924, which forbade interracial marriage. From 1661 until the Supreme Court’s 1967 ruling, forty-one states had laws penalizing interracial marriages that discouraged or prohibited whites from marrying blacks and non-whites. In 1958, only 4% of Americans approved of interracial marriages. By 2007, 77% approved.

Interracial intimacy

Cashin believes one doesn’t have to marry, date, or adopt a person of another race to experience transformational love or to acquire what she calls ‘cultural dexterity’ — an enhanced capacity for intimate connections with people outside one’s tribe. This includes intimate friendships. Cashin says Richard Loving was exceptional in his ability to be kind, open-minded, make friends, and have genuine relationships across racial lines. Cashin believes communities and society will become more culturally dextrous as people across race form friendships and genuinely care about advancing the well-being of others without expecting something in return. It feels like a kinder society.


Adam Phillips and Barbara Taylor in their book On Kindness, write that kindness has different meanings but is fundamentally about “open-heartedness”.

Kindness during COVID

As the pandemic has shown, people are much kinder during a catastrophe. Extraordinary acts of kindness and stories get told and retold. American John Krasinski created Some Good News. Canadians Heather Down and Catherine Kenwell wrote a book titled, Not Cancelled: Canadian Kindness in the Face of COVID-19. People’s kindness abounds and stretches to their outer limits when suffering is seen and felt.

Biggest Regret: Not being kinder

Award-winning American author George Saunders delivered the convocation speech at Syracuse University to the class of 2013. His biggest regret was that he was not kinder to people while chasing success. His awesome speech deserves to be watched in full. Parts of his speech are below.

On being more loving, open, less selfish, more present, and less delusional, Saunders says:

The Loving Generation

Interracial marriage in the U.S. 50 years after Loving v. Virginia shows that in 2017, one in six newlyweds married someone of a different race or ethnicity. Interracial marriage rates are higher for Millennials than for Gen Xers across all racial and ethnic groups. Two thoughtful video interview series cover the Loving Generation about how Millennials and GenXers experienced growing up mixed-race in the U.S.

Historical Timeline for Interracial Marriage



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Flavian DeLima

Flavian DeLima

Marketer. Strategist. Consultant. Collaborator. Tinker on the edges…fandoms, creators, entertainment, community, collab & authenticity. Play @collab4purpose